cut the crap, slacker...

This one's for those who've been in the "planning" stage of an exercise regimen for anywhere from a couple of hours to a couple of decades. If you have plans of blog-hopping, Internet shopping, or eating a half a loaf of Good Seed Bread (like me) as your next activity, I submit to you a challenge: Whatever is the most vigorous exercise you are capable of performing, do it now. If walking 50 yards is more than you've done in 6 months, walk 50 yards now. Better yet, walk a lot more than 50 yards. If you can, run around the block. Get a couple of miles on your old 10-speed bike. Start now, feel good about getting started, and do it again tomorrow. Before very long, you'll need to increase your level of exertion. Once you get in the habit, you won't want to ever go back. I guarantee that you will get the results you earn.
For me, one of the secrets to success in such an endeavor is to not expect too much from yourself at the beginning. To be real, I haven't been "totally" out-of-shape in many years. The worst was in the mid 90's, when I was deep in the meth sack and unaware of just how much harm I was doing to myself. The reality check wouldn't come until I was jumping out of a car and waddling as fast as I could to get away from a pursuing cop. I would often get away, simply because most cops don't want to work that hard. But when they finally put me away this last time (in '97), I had found a new low in every imaginable way. And my body was shot, baby.

I got really healthy in prison, but as I approached my mid-40's, I started experiencing more and more pain and swelling in my joints. It appears that I have mild psoriatic arthritis, and some of the things that were easy and painless not too many years ago have become difficult, if not downright torture. Like running. Remember running? Well, I don't run anymore (and if I leave the drugs and crime alone, I probably won't have to.).

Now I am the happy owner of a fine elliptical trainer. After a short (5 set) daily weight-training session, I move on to a high-level (for me anyway) 50-minute workout on the elliptical. This has been the game plan for the past several weeks, and during this time I have seen the kind of results I experienced as a younger man with running. I don't have a scale at home, but I have a wall-size workout-room mirror that tells me no lies. The love handles are reduced and the muscle looks harder and more defined. I have incredible energy and I'm told that I brighten every room I enter (b.s. alert!). I am still hideously unattractive, but poised. This is what exercise can do for you!

Again, my challenge: get started now. Do anything more strenuous than you're used to. Feel good about making that start, and do even better tomorrow, and so on.